CHAPTER 39
For hours now, the quiet clicks of the keyboard and soft clicks of the mouse had blended with the faint rustle of papers and the whisper of a stack of photographs.
They sat so close together at the same desk that the slightest movement brought their shoulders almost into contact, but every time that nearly happened, neither of them pulled away.
After yesterday’s revelation, Rick had no idea how he was supposed to act normally around Aaron anymore.
He understood everything. Accepted it. Admitted what he felt, and had even allowed himself, for the first time, to imagine that there really could be something real between them.
Great.
Except now every accidental glance in Aaron’s direction had turned into a little test of self-control.
So Rick stared diligently at the photographs.
Very diligently.
Aaron reviewed the recordings, making notes from time to time, while Rick went through the photographs one by one, checking everything they had managed to gather for the case.
He rubbed his tired eyelids. His eyes were already starting to ache from the hundreds of images flashing before him one after another.
Rick glanced sideways again, just to check which recording Aaron had stopped on.
And, of course, absolutely not because he wanted to look at him.
Lake sat upright, leaning slightly toward the laptop. His fingers moved quickly across the keys, occasionally coming to a stop above them. A few strands of hair had fallen across his cheekbone, and Rick immediately caught himself looking at something other than the screen.
Shit.He quickly turned his eyes back to the photograph lying in front of him.
They would be heading out soon on Cooper’s lead, and he really didn’t want to spend the remaining time trying not to think about how close Aaron was sitting.
Especially when that wasn’t working anymore.
Rick gripped the edge of the photograph and forced himself to focus on it again. On the same details he had been studying for who knew how long.
Everything was fine.
Aaron was just sitting beside him.
Nothing special.
Absolutely nothing.
Then why could Rick feel the warmth of his shoulder beside him so clearly?
“How are you feeling?” Aaron asked quietly.
Rick flinched and froze for a second, not immediately realizing that Aaron was talking to him.
Apparently, he had noticed how Rick had just been sitting there staring at him like a lovesick idiot.
His heart traitorously skipped a beat.
“Fine.” Rick barely cleared his throat, forcing his voice back to normal. “Good.”
“You’re lying.”
Rick blinked.
“No, seriously,” he tried to argue, lowering his eyes to the photograph in his hand again.
Aaron watched him silently for a few seconds. Then he took his hand away from the keyboard and slowly turned in his chair, facing Rick fully. He leaned back against the chair and calmly folded his arms across his chest.
Now all of his attention was focused solely on him.
“I don’t believe a single word you’re saying,” he said almost lazily.
At that low tone, Rick felt something inside him tighten for a moment.
“And why’s that?” He looked up at Aaron.
“Your eyes are red.”
“So are yours.”
Heat rushed traitorously into Rick’s face.
He lowered his eyes to the photograph again, but after a couple of seconds he couldn’t resist and stole a glance at Aaron from beneath his lashes.
Aaron was still looking at him.
Shit.Rick hurried back to the photograph, hoping Aaron would finally drop the subject. But for some reason, he didn’t seem in any hurry to return to work.
It was starting to irritate him.
“I’m fine!” he breathed out too quickly. “Why are you even asking?”
“You’ve been distracted a lot today.”
“I’m not distracted.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Lake rocked slightly in his chair.
“Then why have you been staring at the same photograph for three minutes?”
Rick froze, realizing that he really had been staring at nothing but that one photograph the entire time.
He shrugged.
“I’m studying it.”
“Studying it?”
The faintest hint of amusement flickered in Aaron’s voice.
“Yes, studying it.” Rick felt the heat rising into his face again. “Maybe there’s something important there.”
“And what did you find?”
Rick hesitated, unsure whether he should even answer that question.
“Dirt. A blue label. And… some kind of branch,” he finally breathed.
“Impressive.”
He said it with complete seriousness, but the corner of his mouth twitched almost imperceptibly.
Rick snorted and looked at him again.
“Very funny,” he narrowed his eyes. “Absolutely hilarious.”
“I’m not laughing.”
“Of course.”
For several seconds, they simply looked at each other.
Rick realized he was once again unconsciously taking in the details of Aaron’s face. His fair skin. The small white scar above his right eyebrow, left there by Rick himself. His light eyes framed by straight lashes. His gaze slid lower, to his straight nose, to his pink, slightly pursed lips.
He lowered his head, hiding his embarrassment behind his fringe, and stared at the photograph again.
“Is that all it is?” he managed, a little more quietly. “My being distracted?”
“Mostly.”
Rick had almost let out a sigh of relief when Aaron calmly added:
“Although now I’m insanely curious about what exactly is distracting you so much.”
Rick froze.
At those words alone, something inside him turned over, sweet and aching.
He knew perfectly well that Aaron could have meant anything. Fatigue. The assignment ahead. Everything that had been happening between them over the past few days. But for some reason, his first thought was something entirely different.
He knows.Rick raised his eyes.
Aaron was still looking at him calmly, simply waiting for an answer. But that calm only made things worse for Rick.
Lake rocked slightly in his chair.
“So, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?” he repeated.
“I…” Rick stumbled over the words. “Nothing.”
Aaron didn’t look away, as if he were still waiting for Rick to change his mind.
But Rick remained silent.
Then Lake straightened, settled more comfortably in his chair, and turned back toward the desk.
“All right,” he said calmly, reaching for the laptop. “If you don’t want to talk, you don’t have to.”
For some reason, Rick felt a slight pang of disappointment.
He didn’t understand why. Just a second ago, he had wanted Aaron to stop asking questions.
And now that Aaron had actually left him alone, it somehow wasn’t nearly as pleasant as he had imagined.
The camera footage began playing across the small screen again.
“Just…” Aaron continued without taking his eyes off the laptop, “stop pretending I imagined it.”
Rick returned to the photographs. He set the first one aside, picked another from the stack, and simply held it in his hand, pretending to be busy with work again.
The air in the office grew slightly more charged. The laptop hummed a little louder as it tried to cool itself, and Rick didn’t immediately realize that he was gripping the photograph so tightly he had almost crumpled it.
Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Aaron looking in his direction.
Rick froze.
For a while, nothing happened, and he returned to his work. Then that look came again.
“What?” Rick finally snapped.
“Nothing,” Aaron said with a shrug.
Rick turned toward him irritably.
“Then why do you keep looking at me like that?”
Aaron tilted his head slightly.
“Now I’m not looking at you like that?”
“Yes. Now you’re looking at me strangely.”
“I always look at you like that.”
Rick choked on air, losing his train of thought for a second.
“No. Usually you don’t look at me like that!”
One eyebrow lifted barely.
“And how do I look at you?” he asked a little more quietly, never taking his eyes off him.
“What difference does it make?”
Aaron smiled slightly.
“A big one, if you noticed.”
Rick opened his mouth, but couldn’t think of anything to say. He felt like he had turned red all the way to the roots of his hair.
Aaron was still looking at him. And judging by the barely perceptible twitch at the corner of his mouth, he knew perfectly well what he was doing.
His gaze drifted lazily downward.
“By the way,” he said casually, “you’re holding it upside down.”
Rick looked down at the photograph in his hand.
It was upside down…
“I’ll look at it however I want. None of your business,” he muttered. “Today I’m working on the photographs…”
Rick almost imperceptibly turned the photograph the right way up, rubbed his burning, tired eyelids, and forced himself to focus on the details again: tire-tread impressions, some tracks.
Small ones and larger ones.
Great.
Just fucking great.
He had almost convinced himself that he was focused on work again when he felt Aaron’s gaze on him.
Rick glanced sideways.
Lake didn’t look away.
More than that, something unfamiliar had appeared on his face. Barely noticeable, almost impossible to catch, but Rick still managed to see it.
Aaron was looking him over. And it seemed to amuse him.
That thought made everything inside Rick turn over again.
He didn’t know what to do with it. He only knew he no longer wanted to hide from his own reaction.
But looking at Aaron for as long as he wanted to while Aaron sat directly across from him was beyond his ability.
Lake suddenly moved a little closer. Just slightly. But the distance between them became noticeably smaller.
Rick froze.
He could have moved away.
He didn’t.
“It concerns me,” Aaron said calmly. “Anything that throws you off balance concerns me.”
Rick’s heart immediately skipped a beat.
“We work together,” Lake continued, “and I need to know I can rely on you.”
Rick nodded, continuing to sort through the photographs.
“You can.”
He tried to look only at the photographs, but his attention kept slipping away.
Again and again, it returned to Aaron: the top button of his shirt undone, the strip of fair skin beneath the collar, the thin line of his pulsing jugular vein.
Rick hurried back to work.
And right on cue, his memory helpfully supplied the one thing he least wanted to think about right now.
That night. Their shared breathing, the warmth, the taste of his lips.
Rick swallowed and closed his eyes for a second.
“I wonder if they’re still like that now?”Yesterday, he had finally admitted to himself that he wanted Aaron for more than one night or a couple of weeks. And now he had discovered that along with that realization, the simplest and most human desire hadn’t gone anywhere either: he wanted to kiss him again.
That was what seemed most dangerous right now. Because he understood perfectly well that one kiss wouldn’t be enough. He wanted to keep kissing him, again and again. And for some reason, he was almost certain it wouldn’t stop at kissing.
Rick opened his eyes again and quietly exhaled, trying to pull himself together.
“You can rely on me,” he said, trying to make his voice sound normal. “I’m fine.”
Aaron was silent for a moment.
“You sure?” he asked calmly.
Rick slowly raised his head.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“Lying again.”
Rick set the photographs aside and turned toward Aaron.
“Why are you so damn hung up on me?!”
He leaned forward slightly, meeting his eyes.
“If it bothers you so much that I’m distracted, then maybe you shouldn’t have taken my hand in the car yesterday!”
A brief silence hung in the air.
Rick himself didn’t immediately understand what he had just said. And when he did, he wanted the ground to swallow him whole.
“Fuck… why did I blurt that out?”He froze, feeling his ears traitorously beginning to burn. Only now did he realize exactly what subject he had brought up. Worst of all, it was already too late to take the words back.
Aaron was silent too.
For a second, he actually seemed caught off guard. Just slightly, barely enough for Rick to notice.
His fingers went still, and his gaze lingered on Rick’s face longer than usual.
“But…” Aaron began more quietly. “In the car, you started it.”
Rick forgot how to breathe for a second.
“No…” he breathed.
“Yes.”
Rick opened his mouth but couldn’t come up with anything. They were still sitting across from each other. So close that their knees barely touched, and now, for some reason, Rick couldn’t stop noticing it.
He lowered his eyes.
“Well, shit…”He’d brought it up himself. Given Aaron an opening. And now he was sitting there with no idea what to do with his hands, his eyes, or himself in general.
Aaron said nothing, and Rick cautiously looked up. A barely noticeable, satisfied smirk had appeared on Lake’s lips, and there was a hint of mischief in his eyes.
And that made things even worse for Rick. Because now Aaron looked fucking sexy.
“Why are you smiling?” Rick muttered.
“Nothing.”
“I can see that.”
“Good.”
Rick took a deeper breath and briefly licked his lips.
He noticed Aaron following the movement with his eyes.
Rick still understood perfectly well how obvious he had made himself, but for some reason, he no longer wanted to hide. On the contrary, he leaned forward slightly, closing the already small distance between them. Their knees and shins touched more noticeably now.
He swallowed but didn’t look away.
If Aaron had decided to catch him out, then fine. In the end, Rick wasn’t going to back down.
“If you didn’t like it so much yesterday,” he said quietly, tilting his head slightly, “you could have just… pulled your hand away.”
For a moment, Aaron’s expression changed. Just a little, but Rick caught the way his gaze became more intent.
Apparently, he hadn’t expected Rick to answer.
Something inside Rick gave a pleased little flutter at that. Now a smile appeared on Rick’s lips, but only until Aaron leaned slightly forward as well.
“What makes you think…” Aaron slowly exhaled.
Rick narrowed his eyes slightly.
“Well… you could have moved your hand.”
“I could have.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I didn’t.”
Rick watched him silently for several seconds, trying to figure out how far Aaron was willing to go.
“So you liked it?”
Aaron tilted his head slightly.
“Did you?”
Rick froze.
He was already about to answer when, instead, he suddenly rose from his chair. He took a small step and, without taking his eyes off Aaron, sat on the edge of the desk directly in front of him.
“I asked first,” Rick reminded him quietly.
Aaron only looked up at him expectantly. Rick felt his own breathing grow faster and more uneven.
Suddenly, the chair creaked and obediently rolled to the side.
Aaron slowly rose after him and, straightening his shoulders, stood opposite him.
His movements were smooth, almost lazy, but everything inside Rick tightened like a taut knot.
“What do you think?” Aaron asked quietly as he stepped closer.
Aaron stopped very close, but not so close that Rick no longer had a choice. If he wanted to, he could still stand up and walk away.
“I want to hear it from you,” Rick answered just as quietly.
And hardly believing that he had actually found the nerve, he reached toward him.
His fingers touched the tightly fastened belt, hooking into the waistband as he pulled him flush against the desk, closing the last few inches between them.
With the inner sides of his thighs, he could clearly feel the warmth radiating from Aaron’s body.
His heart thudded somewhere deep in his stomach, his muscles trembling faintly.
“I really liked it,” Aaron said quietly, holding his gaze on Rick’s face.
His tousled, wavy hair, the soft flush across his slightly tanned cheeks, his full pink lips, and deep brown eyes, hazy and slightly moist.
His entire appearance said it — no, almost screamed — just how badly he was trembling inside.
If only he could see himself right now.Then, even more quietly, he added:
“And you?..”
At the low sound of his voice, Rick’s heart immediately skipped a beat.
He noticed Aaron’s pupils had widened slightly. Unexpectedly, Rick felt himself growing hot.
His throat went dry. His hand jerked unintentionally, catching a small stack of papers, which slid to the floor with a soft rustle.
Aaron didn’t even move.
It was as if he hadn’t noticed at all — his entire attention remained focused on Rick.
He looked directly into his eyes.
“Hmm?” he asked quietly, tilting his head a little lower. A loose strand of hair softly brushed against Rick’s cheek.
